Don't You Hate It When...

There are times in my life when I get very agitated. I get anxious, excited, worried and I dance all at the same time. It's when I have realized that I should have used the restroom ten minutes before I actually make it into the facility. That's when I'm crossing my legs and dancing as my hands are shaking and trying to get the stupid button undone on my jeans. When I'm finally able to work the button through the hole I rip my pants and unders down as fast as I can and sit even faster. The relief is almost an emotional thing. I find myself actually sighing with contentment. Sure the seat is cold, that's to be expected and not really a problem... until you stand up and realize that you just sat on a wet seat. When in public you have two thought processes. 1.) The person before me was in the same position I was in and just didn't aim right when trying to sit down. or 2.) The force of 5 million gallons of water shooting down the pipes after said person flushed caused a backspray of completely sanitary water to spit up onto the seat and you actually just got a refreshing rinse-off as you releived yourself. I always KNOW it's option 2. There's no way I can think that it's option 1 because then I'd have to squirt hand sanitizer on my rear end and I'm sure that would burn and counter-act the refreshing coolness I just experienced when sitting down.
When you're at home and are in the same situation you just get annoyed because you know you've taught your kids how to aim. Of course, they may have been dancing just like you were and haven't yet mastered the ability to judge the distance correctly when trying to sit and pee. I know it can't be the force of the water being flushed - I'm lucky to get the water to flush at all, depending on what's been flushed down it by the kid before me. Then I sigh as I lean over and squirt some hand sanitizer and prepare myself for the burning sensation that follows.
Today's another "Don't You Hate It When" day over at Blokthoughts! If you've got something that will make others Roll On the Floor and Laugh head over there and join in.
P.S. Please go over there and vote for me!!! She gives away prizes and if I get lots of votes I get to win one. I'm not above begging...groveling...bribing, perhaps?