My Eye-Popping Moment

So today I woke up with a stuffy nose and a slight headache from the pressure building up in there. Apparently the dust/mold spores decided to have a party up in my nose and didn't clear it with me first. Anyway, it made for a sluggish morning and I was actually dreading going to see Dr. Jon. (He's my super quack-alicious chiropractor.) Every time I go in to see him he tells me to hold a vile of this or a vile of that and then he pushes on my arm and tells me I'm allergic to whatever vile I'm holding. Last time it was peanut butter. The time before that it was soy and all dairy. HELLO-O!!! Doesn't he know that, while we put Frankie in the freezer, Bessie is down the road at the dairy farm? We L.O.V.E. cheese! So now I get to just watch and drool as my family members get to eat cheese and drink chocolate milk with their cheerios.
*sigh*
Anyway, I wasn't really looking forward to seeing the wonderful Dr. Jon because a.) I don't want to be allergic to anything else and b.) my forehead and nose really hurt! But I went anyway and when he asked if I had a headache today (I usually do) and I could not lie. I brushed it off as an upcoming sinus infection and he said that he could help me with that. And I started wondering to myself, "When did a chiropractor become a nose doctor?" So he pulls this thing out that looks like the pump-thingy that's usually attached to a blood pressure cuff and attaches a latex balloon to the end of it. He puts some kind of goo on it, maybe Vaseline or KY - who knows? As he's approaching me he also pulls out a toothpick looking thing that's as long as my middle finger and says, "This will help to push the balloon into your sinus cavities." Huh? He proceeds to shove the balloon-thingy into my right nostril and then he says, "Take a deep breath and then let it out slowly." As I'm blowing out he pinches my nose and pumps the little blood pressure thingy. Holy CRAP! My eyes started to water and my brain felt like it was going to be pushed out the back of my skull! He then pulls the balloon out and proceeds to shove it into the other side. We repeated the process THREE TIMES on each side! Each time my nose is dispensing of it's, uh, contents as he pulls the balloon out. Finally he says he's finished and hands me some Kleenex to "evacuate" my nose, if I'm so inclined. Are you kidding me?!?!? The whole darn sinus cavity felt like an atom bomb had been blown up in there! Whatever was hanging around evacuated by attaching itself to the little latex balloon! Finally, as I was leaving he advised me that if I'd like another treatment with the nose-blower-uper that there will be an additional charge of $33 from now on. (The first one's on the house, apparently.) Yeah, I'll be sure to ask for another mind blowing treatment on Monday...