An Open Letter of Distress

Dear Mother Nature,
I love you, I really do. I love when you finally decide that it's spring and so let the flowers and trees start to bloom. I love that the grass finally starts to green up and get soft again. Heck, I'll even take the weeding (but only for the first couple of weeks, then I'll get tired of it). I'm excited to get my very first garden planted so I can watch it grow. I'm incredibly thankful that the children are allowed out of the cave our home has turned into over the long winter months so that they can play outside.
What I don't like, however, is your mood swings. One minute it's winter with hail, freezing wind, the whole bit. The next it's a beautiful 65 degrees with sunshine and light fluffy clouds floating in the blue sky. Three seconds after that you have a hot flash and decide that we need one too so you crank the thermostat up to 88 degrees and keep it there for a couple of days. Today? Today you've turned a fan on as well as the air conditioner and we're back to winter-ish weather. What the what? Are you menopausal? Grumpy? Depressed? Can I get you some hormones or maybe some Prozac to help you out? Really. My tulips are hating me right now, and I don't blame them. The next door neighbor's chickens were all set to start living in their brand new chicken coop that Katie built for them, but now have to get shoved back into the cardboard box she's been keeping them in since they hatched. (Which, by the way, is in her LIVING ROOM!!!) Don't ask.
Anyway, I'd appreciate it if you'd tone it down a little. Just knock the mood swings down a couple of notches and we'll get along famously, m'kay?
Sincerely,
The Wixom Zoo