I Think It's Time To Pack My Bags For The Funny Farm

It's finally happened. I'm officially a nut case. I knew this day would come sooner or later, but I was hoping for later. How did I know I'd gone over the edge? Because sometime in the middle of the night my house started talking to me. At first I thought that it might have the hiccups. Every once in awhile I'd hear a loud 'HIC' and then a pause and then another 'HIC'! It was loud, peeps. Real loud. So I laid awake last night just counting each 'hic' and hoping that the furnace would remember to hold it's breath soon so that I could go to sleep. Then I realized that the house didn't have the hiccups! It swallowed a bird! The poor little blue jay (or robin or sea gull or canary) was just minding it's business and my rude, and probably hungry, house forgot all of the manners I've ever taught it and decided to eat a bird when all it wanted to do was get a little rest! Hmmm...actually, it doesn't really sound like a bird. A little to crisp and high pitched. As I was going about my morning, I realized that the house hic'd or chirped or peeped at me every time I walked into my bedroom. Huh? I guess I DID forget to make my bed and the floor could use a good vacuuming. Maybe my house is mad at me for neglecting it's insides? I dunno. All I know is that I've found it's voice box now and I'm trying to communicate. I think it's like when you've been sleeping all night and your voice is a little froggy or squeaky when you first wake up in the morning? My house is a whole 2 1/2 years old now and I think it's finally woken up and is trying to find it's voice. Does anyone know where the ears are for a house? Because I've been talking to this thing (see pic below) and all I'm getting is a squeaky peep - I even offered it a nice cold glass of Dr. Pepper to soothe it's rough and dry throat. Chirp....chirp....chirp.



I wonder if the beds are comfy at the crazy house?