Tuesday, August 25, 2009

I'm Considering Plastic Surgery...

I figure that there are lots of other moms out there who have/are doing it, so why not me? There are blemishes, pockmarks, that I'd like to remove. I can't help but stare at these hideous marks every time I look at them and it's really starting to bother me. Do you think it will take a very long time? Will there be any real pain involved? I'm hoping that I can get it all taken care of in a matter of a couple of hours and then I'll be happy as a clam and life can go on just like it has been. *sigh* It will be GREAT!

I'm guessing that I'd better do a 'before' picture so that if I decide to actually go through with it you can see how much better things look after.




*deep breath*





Okay. Here goes nothin'...





Don't judge. This poor thing is, like, 8 years old! She's been THROUGH IT, if you know what I mean. She's had kids write on her with permanent marker, they've pounded their forks and knives into her when I didn't quite have dinner ready on time! They've painted and colored on her, spilled who knows what on her and have just been extremely abusive on the old girl. If anyone deserves a new lease on life, it's HER!

Alls I have to do now is find a good (and cheap) surgeon. I've got a couple of handy friends that might do it pro-bono. Like Heidi, the piano stripping and re-staining wonder. Sheri, the "I'm remodeling the whole house by myself because I'm super human and can go on and on and on just like the Energizer Bunny." Hmmm...I'm not sure who to pick. One has to be selective when it comes to delicate cases like ours. (Also, it helps if the surgeon lives somewhere nearby.)

So, if there are any gifted and talented individuals who live close to me and who would like to beef up their resumes with a prestigious case, just leave your information in my comment box and we'll get back to you ASAP.

6 comments:

Heatherlyn said...

I've never redone a wood floor. But I sure love them. And one of the great benefits of them is that you can sand it and refinish it and it looks like new. My brother refinished a couple of wood floors by himself. Just used a sander and went with the grain and then sealed it ... good luck!

springrose said...

It's not to hard to redo a table! You just need an electric sander, get different grits of sand paper, use the finest one last, wipe it down well to get rid of dust. Then decide if you want stain or paint. Just remember, the more coats of stain you put on the darker it will be, also stain with the grain of the wood. That goes for the sanding as well. Then once stain/paint is dry I would suggest a sealer. Youcan pick a satin type , not to shiny all the way up to high gloss. They also sell this in spray cans, or you can go the professional way with the brush on kind you have to sand in between coats. If you have questions give me a call. I know this is a project you can do yourself!! I have faith in you. But you do need to do it while it is still warm or it will take forever to dry and it may not turn out well!

Unknown said...

Hahaha! You totally had me going for a moment there. All I could think of was AMY! YOU HAVE MORE GUMPTION THAN THAT! I will totally help you! I might be visiting my folks out there in a couple of weeks and could help you then. Instead of staining and polyurethane-ing it to death, you might consider a marine-grade tung oil. It penetrates the wood and makes it darn near indestructible. Cool thing is the kids can help because you rub it in with your hands. Then you won't have to worry about a kiddo spilling and not finding it till the next morning. (Although I have NEVER seen your table that cluttered unless you count chocolate covered loveliness) Give me a call if you want help! (New # is posted on FB info page)

Holly said...

haha, you had me going there. I was expecting a nice picture of your knockers. You'll have to save that one for a future post.

Sherri Harward said...

I love doing those kind of jobs, though, Heidi would probably do way better than me(more experience). I do love projects and if you need a friend to help you do it, give me a call:)

Shelle-BlokThoughts said...

Ummmm... I can't even decorate a house properly...so count me out!

Poor Poor wood...